In uncertain times, don't forget to breathe
Since the coronavirus pandemic has started, I've been doing a series of webinars. My most recent webinar was with Barbara Feinberg, a business coach and psychotherapist. The conversation really helped shape my mindset on how to deal with being quarantined and I'm sharing some of my takeaways below:
Ambiguity is saturated with anxiety. We are in a time of uncertainty. For many people, the worst part is not knowing what the future holds. A 2014 study showed that people would rather shock themselves then be left alone with their thoughts. In other words, people would prefer the certainty of an electrical shock than wandering with their thoughts.
Our mind exists to protect us from danger. When we start delving into uncertainty, we start to go into fight or flight mode. Our mind comes up with all the ways things can go wrong and then our body begins to react to it with things such as elevated heartbeats or feelings of being overwhelmed. Remember that our body is just protecting us and these are normal reactions during times of stress. This happens to everyone.
We place tremendous demand on ourselves and others during periods of stress. Once those demands begin, we then try to control all of our relationships. Obviously, this never works. We are, as Feinberg puts it, trying to feed the beast over and over until you run out of food, then the beast eats you. We need to not fight these emotions, but learn to live with them.
Be vulnerable. It's important to not only acknowledge that it's a difficult time, but to share that with others. Being vulnerable is one of the best ways to show empathy. Don't be afraid to start off both personal and professional conversations by asking people how they are feeling and telling them how you feel. Those authentic moments are some of the greatest ways to build meaningful relationships especially in this new virtual world we live in.
Be present. One of the potential gifts about this period of time is we are traveling less. Use this time to practice mindfulness, a mental state of being aware of the present moment. Replace your 20-minute commute by car to work by using those 20 minutes to walk around the neighborhood and admire the clouds or trees. Think about questions like what did I accomplish today, who did I help today or what am I grateful for?
Lower the bar. Whether you like it or not, most people will underperform during this period whether it's personally or professionally in some capacity. I personally have only performed one workout in the past three weeks (I typically workout 3-4 times a week). I realized that it's OK. I'm adjusting to the new normal. I know that three weeks is a short span of time when you consider how long this pandemic is relative to your lifespan.
Lastly, don't forget to breathe